The following correspondence originally took place upon the Facebook wall of family…
Generationally contested land in the Middle-East
Genaire: Everyone In Middle East Given Own Country In 317,000,000-State Solution:
http://www.theonion.com/article/everyone-in-middle-east-given-own-country-in-31700-36484
Rayn: The *best* solution, ever! Too bad it’s satire…
I originally posted the following information and commentary onto my Facebook wall…
Humanity Surprised It Still Hasn’t Figured Out Better Alternative To Letting Power-Hungry Assholes Decide Everything:
http://www.theonion.com/article/humanity-surprised-it-still-hasnt-figured-out-bett-36361
Noting that it has had thousands of years to develop a more agreeable option, humankind expressed bewilderment this week that it has yet to devise a better alternative to governing itself than always letting power-hungry assholes run everything, sources worldwide reported.
Individuals in every country on earth voiced their frustration that, in spite of generations of mistreatment, neglect, and abuse they have suffered at the hands of those in positions of authority, they continue to allow control over the world’s governments, businesses, and virtually every other type of organization and social group to fall to the most megalomaniacal pricks among them.
My Commentary: Satire… and, yet, OH SO TRUE! *sigh*
I originally posted the following information and commentary onto my Facebook wall…
“U.S. Soothes Upset Netanyahu With Shipment of Ballistic Missiles”
Haaretz.com: ‘When The Onion is the most reliable news source your country, you know you’re a mess’
Satirical Onion Article Accidentally Predicts Actual News Headline:
http://theantimedia.org/satirical-onion-article-accidentally-predicts-actual-news-headline/
(Carey Wedler) The Onion is both notorious and beloved for its painfully accurate satire. “CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighter All These Years,” and “U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths” are popular examples of the Onion’s knack for humorously pointing out political corruption and tragedy. Last week, however, the Onion predicted an actual headline, preempting a real development regarding Iran and its relations with the West.
Following agreement on Obama’s much-anticipated deal to reduce Iran’s nuclear capabilities in exchange for lifted sanctions (that the president himself originally promoted and imposed), Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was publicly incensed. In predictable jest, The Onion published an article last Tuesday—as the deal was reached—titled, “U.S. Soothes Upset Netanyahu With Shipment Of Ballistic Missiles.” It joked that to pacify the saber-rattling leader, Obama sent him a special shipment of weapons—mocking the United States’ sizable contributions to its favorite ally in the region.
“Bibi always gets a little cranky when he sees us talking to Iran, but a few dozen short-range surface-to-surface missiles usually cheer him right up,” the Onion joked a State Department official said. “Of course, we try not to spoil him by giving him a whole new tactical ballistics delivery system every single time he throws a fit, but our guy’s pretty good at getting his way. At least we’ll have a couple months of peace and quiet around here.”
The very next day, Israeli newspaper Haaretz published a real story called “After Vienna accord, Obama offers military upgrade to help Israel swallow bitter Iranian deal.”
My Commentary: Ha!
I originally posted the following information and commentary onto my Facebook wall…
Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon:
http://www.theonion.com/article/iran-worried-us-might-be-building-8500th-nuclear-w-27325
(Tehran) Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America’s uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon.
My Commentary: Exactly! It’s a sad state of the world when more critical thinking comes from satire then from real news! Besides, how exactly does the United States government – the only nation to ever drop not one, but two nuclear weapons, on another nation’s civilians – manage to appoint itself as supreme dictator of who enriches uranium, and who hold nuclear weapons, anyway? The “logic” behind this is so hypocritical, it also comes off as satire!
I originally posted the following information and commentary onto my Facebook wall…
“This is you… weak, scared, alone, always. Revlon. You are what you are”
Brutally Honest New Revlon Ad Campaign Reminds Customers You Can’t Change What You Are:
http://www.theonion.com/article/brutally-honest-new-revlon-ad-campaign-reminds-cus-35968
Asserting that makeup can do little beyond creating a fleeting illusion of youth and beauty, cosmetics giant Revlon launched a new series of ads this week aimed at reminding its customers they will never be able to change what they are.
The company’s “You Are What You Are” campaign, which debuted with dark and haunting multi-page spreads in several major fashion magazines, cautions consumers that, at best, makeup is a sad disguise people hide behind in a futile attempt to avoid uncomfortable facts about their true nature.
My Commentary: This made me laugh so much, my sides hurt!
